The desperation out there is getting loud and explosive like the encore performance of a tainted Chipotle lettuce bowl. So much so that Donald Trump claimed he wouldn’t even care if Iran nuked California off the map… in what the Japanese call the least productive way to lower gas prices.
Meanwhile, down-ballot candidates are scrambling. Vivek Ramaswamy tried to pull the classic ‘kiss the baby’ politician move in Ohio and accidentally drop-kicked an 87-pound toddler into the cheap seats. On the bright side, the child wasn’t hurt, and the parents were too drunk to report him missing. The only real irreparable damage was to Vivek’s overall favorability rating, which currently ranks somewhere between Epstein Island and a pneumonic plague sequel.
The Moment You Realize The Truth Does Hurt…
You truly know the right wing is terrified about this election cycle when they’re more butthurt over the right to ‘vote by mail’ than the right to ‘vote bi-male’. Trump is so out of touch with his base that he can’t even walk and chew out minorities at the same time. Never mind that this regime is so ass-backwards that it’s easier to die on death row from measles than a lethal injection. And yet, even though the only part of the country thriving under this administration is death row, according to Truth Social, 9 out of 10 convicted serial killers plan to vote Democrat next month. Apparently, the lone holdout still prefers the taste of Republicans.
So heading into the midterm, Donald Trump is still clearly the face of the GOP—and no, not because his neck looks like a horny elephant’s vagina, but because when Republicans go door-to-door, it feels court-mandated.
Speaking of MAGA Pedophiles, British authorities now claim longtime Trump ally Andrew Tate possessed files containing bestiality… or as Keystone Ka$h Patel called it: “It’s about time the FBI got a quality resume.”
Your Resume Looks Good To Me, Mr Dahmer…
