Tag: CNN

Mitch McConnell Gives Thumbs Up… As Republicans Announce All No Votes Will Require His Emotional Support Rock!!!

Since his disappearance, I’ve been telling everyone Mitch McConnell is dead. But after the nearly 167-year-old Senator returned to the hallways of Congress yesterday, I must admit I was wrong this entire time…ghosts really do exist!! I mean, sure, he didn’t look great… and most likely required a mortician, not some over-defiant stylist who dared, […]

Read More Mitch McConnell Gives Thumbs Up… As Republicans Announce All No Votes Will Require His Emotional Support Rock!!!

Sooo…What Did I Miss???

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m back. Now, if you would hold your applause until the end, we can get started. And for those of you still wondering where the fuck I have been. I say: Well, if Jimmy Kimmel, The Daily Show, and Melania Trump can afford to take summers off. Then I can afford to […]

Read More Sooo…What Did I Miss???

Trump One-Ups White House Correspondents’ Dinner Shooter With His Own Bomb!!!

Donald Trump failed miserably at last night’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner speech, proving once again that the only funny bone in his body is a cankle. Especially now that miniature erections are completely out of the picture. The good news is that although Trump did bomb, zero Iranian schoolgirls were harmed in the process. I […]

Read More Trump One-Ups White House Correspondents’ Dinner Shooter With His Own Bomb!!!

There Was Plenty Of Foreign Interference In The 2020 Election… But For Trumplethinskin!!!

Donald Trump addressed the nation last night about US election security, and while most Diaper Don critics’ initial response was to grab their eyeballs before they rolled out of the back of their head, I said, “Bring it the fuck on…” Like I was spitballing new titles for a cheerleader lorno. And no, not because […]

Read More There Was Plenty Of Foreign Interference In The 2020 Election… But For Trumplethinskin!!!

Let Them Eat Balls!!!

That’s right, folks, with gun violence against the corrupt political class on the rise, Republicans don’t think common sense gun laws, turning the divisive rhetoric down, or not tricking slow adults into funding their lavish pedophilia will help solve the problem; no, they feel the best remedy is to make the working-class foot the bill […]

Read More Let Them Eat Balls!!!

Former Director Of National Counterterrorism Somehow Refrains From Turning Resignation Tweet Anti-Semitic!!!

Another day, another abrupt desertion from the rapidly sinking Trumptanic. After the Director of National Counterterrorism, Joe Kent, bailed on his Conman-in-Chief, Donald Trump. Posting to X that he will be leaving his position, effective immediately. Which is about as courageous as emailing your resignation letter to Elon Musk, so HE can secretly drop it […]

Read More Former Director Of National Counterterrorism Somehow Refrains From Turning Resignation Tweet Anti-Semitic!!!