The desperation out there is getting loud and explosive like the encore performance of a tainted Chipotle lettuce bowl. So much so that Donald Trump claimed he wouldn’t even care if Iran nuked California off the map… in what the Japanese call the least productive way to lower gas prices. Meanwhile, down-ballot candidates are scrambling. […]
Read More The GOP’s Midterm Strategy: Panicked Polls And Tainted Bowls…Another day, another ICE-involved shooting. Only this time, the victim of ICE-IS Terrorism was an unarmed Austin DoorDasher shot in the back. Sadly, this tragedy hits a little too close to home since some of my closest friends are DoorDash Customers… who get irrationally hangry when their food is on time… LET ALONE splattered in […]
Read More ICE-IS Terrorism: Midterm Edition!!!Since his disappearance, I’ve been telling everyone Mitch McConnell is dead. But after the nearly 167-year-old Senator returned to the hallways of Congress yesterday, I must admit I was wrong this entire time…ghosts really do exist!! I mean, sure, he didn’t look great… and most likely required a mortician, not some over-defiant stylist who dared, […]
Read More Mitch McConnell Gives Thumbs Up… As Republicans Announce All No Votes Will Require His Emotional Support Rock!!!Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m back. Now, if you would hold your applause until the end, we can get started. And for those of you still wondering where the fuck I have been. I say: Well, if Jimmy Kimmel, The Daily Show, and Melania Trump can afford to take summers off. Then I can afford to […]
Read More Sooo…What Did I Miss???Donald Trump failed miserably at last night’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner speech, proving once again that the only funny bone in his body is a cankle. Especially now that miniature erections are completely out of the picture. The good news is that although Trump did bomb, zero Iranian schoolgirls were harmed in the process. I […]
Read More Trump One-Ups White House Correspondents’ Dinner Shooter With His Own Bomb!!!Donald Trump addressed the nation last night about US election security, and while most Diaper Don critics’ initial response was to grab their eyeballs before they rolled out of the back of their head, I said, “Bring it the fuck on…” Like I was spitballing new titles for a cheerleader lorno. And no, not because […]
Read More There Was Plenty Of Foreign Interference In The 2020 Election… But For Trumplethinskin!!!Yes, folks, another day, another Republican shits the bed. However, unlike Donald Trump, Lindsey Graham died before he could blame his mess on Biden. Never mind, the 71-year-old senator passed away before he could even sanction Russia, nuke Iran, and check “come out of the closet to my cats” off his bucket list. However, at […]
Read More Has Anyone Told Satan He’s Getting Warmer?!?That’s right, folks, with gun violence against the corrupt political class on the rise, Republicans don’t think common sense gun laws, turning the divisive rhetoric down, or not tricking slow adults into funding their lavish pedophilia will help solve the problem; no, they feel the best remedy is to make the working-class foot the bill […]
Read More Let Them Eat Balls!!!Kash Patel, Trump’s future Former FBI Director and current bobble-eyed booze bag, who spends so much of his day getting blacked out, that his FBI codename is “The Epstein List.” (Side note: Imagine Pam Bondi wasn’t lying when she told Fox News, “The Epstein List is currently sitting on my desk.” But was jokingly referring […]
Read More Southern Poverty Law Center Attacked By Drunk Child!!!If you thought it was government overreach to deploy ICE to the airports, just imagine the mess they’ll have on their hands when Trump sends them to your local polling station… The CNN Article Quoted – https://www.cnn.com/2026/03/24/us/ice-agents-airport-deployment-what-we-know
Read More ICE: “Reporting For Duty, Sir!!!”
