Welcome to The-Anti-Social-Media….A place where you can check your race, religion, gender, and sexual preferences at the door because none of that shit matters here. The only thing required of you is the ability to find laughter in the chaotic world all around us. I don’t know where this journey will take us, but it […]
Read More WELCOME TO THE-ANTI-SOCIAL-MEDIAPete Hegseth plans to live-stream a military execution using a firing squad. When asked why he wouldn’t just use lethal injection, Hegseth replied, ‘Well, duh, that’s disgusting. Audiences are deathly afraid of needles.’ The Daily Beast Article Quoted – https://www.yahoo.com/news/politics/articles/political-enemies-unite-slam-ghoulish-155416101.html But Hegseth isn’t the only one treating the government like an OnlyFans burner account. Across […]
Read More GOPiece of Sh!t: From Begging For Gas $ To Pistol Pete’s #Squad Goals…The desperation out there is getting loud and explosive like the encore performance of a tainted Chipotle lettuce bowl. So much so that Donald Trump claimed he wouldn’t even care if Iran nuked California off the map… in what the Japanese call the least productive way to lower gas prices. Meanwhile, down-ballot candidates are scrambling. […]
Read More The GOP’s Midterm Strategy: Panicked Polls And Tainted Bowls…Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth is now strictly enforcing a “No Beardos” policy in the U.S. military. Not since Frank Beard—the ironically clean-shaven drummer of ZZ Top—has someone been so publicly terrified of his OWN 5 o’clock shadow. Hegseth even summarized his new, streamlined vision for the armed forces with a zero-chills checklist: “No Fatties, No […]
Read More Pete Hegseth Wants His ‘No Fatties, Just Warriors’ Ethos … And To Eat ‘It’ Too!In high school, I was the starting point guard on the basketball team, a position I hadn’t played before freshman year. Growing up, I was always tall for my age and played such relentless defense that I could pick a kangaroo’s pocket, so my natural position was center and power forward. However, when I hit […]
Read More Senator Schmidt-Show’s Own Goal!!!Google AI once called me a “mix between Hunter S. Thompson and George Carlin,” so I was already skeptical of its intentions before it suggested Suicide-Sunday Funday. I mean, anyone who tells you exactly what you want to hear on the internet is either trying to kill you, fuck you, or have you send a […]
Read More Trump Saves The World From AI… So He Can One Day Take The Credit For SI’s Kill!!!Another day, another ICE-involved shooting. Only this time, the victim of ICE-IS Terrorism was an unarmed Austin DoorDasher shot in the back. Sadly, this tragedy hits a little too close to home since some of my closest friends are DoorDash Customers… who get irrationally hangry when their food is on time… LET ALONE splattered in […]
Read More ICE-IS Terrorism: Midterm Edition!!!Since his disappearance, I’ve been telling everyone Mitch McConnell is dead. But after the nearly 167-year-old Senator returned to the hallways of Congress yesterday, I must admit I was wrong this entire time…ghosts really do exist!! I mean, sure, he didn’t look great… and most likely required a mortician, not some over-defiant stylist who dared, […]
Read More Mitch McConnell Gives Thumbs Up… As Republicans Announce All No Votes Will Require His Emotional Support Rock!!!Unless you’ve been living under a rock, or consuming only the “Most Fair and Balanced” propaganda Cable News has to offer, you’ve likely heard reports that Grindr’s servers have crashed yet again. Causing social media to collectively lose its shit about the gay hookup app not being capable of handling all the traffic coming from […]
Read More Social Media’s New Favorite Pastime: “Will MAGA Out-Gay Grindr… Again?!?”Let me start by saying, for as much as I love to throw punches, I refuse to punch down. Which, I believe, is the single biggest difference between the two parties. While Democrats are taking on corporate greed and ensuring Billionaires pay their fair share, Republicans are busy speed-bagging the poor, minorities, and the handful […]
Read More “Tala Freako’s” Revenge…Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m back. Now, if you would hold your applause until the end, we can get started. And for those of you still wondering where the fuck I have been. I say: Well, if Jimmy Kimmel, The Daily Show, and Melania Trump can afford to take summers off. Then I can afford to […]
Read More Sooo…What Did I Miss???
