Unless you’ve been living under a rock, or consuming only the “Most Fair and Balanced” propaganda Cable News has to offer, you’ve likely heard reports that Grindr’s servers have crashed yet again. Causing social media to collectively lose its shit about the gay hookup app not being capable of handling all the traffic coming from the Republican Midterm Convention. Which is ironic because I assume most in attendance were also willing to accept a Texas-sized load from dicks who lean right, but ultimately can’t perform. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am a huge supporter of the LGBTQ+ community. In fact, I’m told nearly 100% of my female “Just Friends,” and 3% of my dreams are “totally gay”. It’s strange, though: why does this problem only seem to arise when thousands of Trump supporters are all gathered together in one place? (Fingers crossed this means that Grindr will be firing on all cylinders come Election Day…am I right?) However, if they’re being honest, maybe for Project 2027, Republicans should focus more on admitting to themselves and loved ones that the GOP should be called the “Gay Old Party.” Even if “The GOP Misrepresents What It Stands For” sounds more like a Mother Jones review of “Project 2025.” And yet, for those of you who still think closeted hypocrisy must be one of the new Conservative values… Well, let’s just say Trump’s signature legislation wasn’t the first time Lindsey Graham used the House Whip to work a Big Beautiful Bill to completion.
This Ain’t Your “Daddy’s” MAGA… Well, At Least Not Your Biological Daddy
WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, STOP THE CLOCK!!! Besides: “Never to walk in anyone’s shadow,” “I learned long ago,” from my favorite 90s music, if you find yourself agreeing with Pinocchio’s flamboyantly “conservative” rival, you should immediately fact-check “yourself before you riggidy wreck yourself.”
Well, since we can’t have nice things, let’s check in on all the impossible things McFart fumes and dementia can impulsively imagine…
THE-ANTI-SOCIAL-MEDIA 