Tag: The Daily Beast

Mitch McConnell Gives Thumbs Up… As Republicans Announce All No Votes Will Require His Emotional Support Rock!!!

Since his disappearance, I’ve been telling everyone Mitch McConnell is dead. But after the nearly 167-year-old Senator returned to the hallways of Congress yesterday, I must admit I was wrong this entire time…ghosts really do exist!! I mean, sure, he didn’t look great… and most likely required a mortician, not some over-defiant stylist who dared, […]

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“Tala Freako’s” Revenge…

Let me start by saying, for as much as I love to throw punches, I refuse to punch down. Which, I believe, is the single biggest difference between the two parties. While Democrats are taking on corporate greed and ensuring Billionaires pay their fair share, Republicans are busy speed-bagging the poor, minorities, and the handful […]

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Sooo…What Did I Miss???

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m back. Now, if you would hold your applause until the end, we can get started. And for those of you still wondering where the fuck I have been. I say: Well, if Jimmy Kimmel, The Daily Show, and Melania Trump can afford to take summers off. Then I can afford to […]

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Trump Girls Gone Wild…

Sure, Donald Trump’s Cabinet may have the same vetting process as crystal meth: No Shirt, No Shoes, No Morals… NO PROBLEM!! However, name another administration where the Secretary of Labor can fly under the radar, with a batshit-resume that even Ghislaine Maxwell would consider problematic. I mean, if Lori Chavez-DeRemer were a Democrat, and you […]

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Finally, Justice For Cricket!!!

Sure, Trump’s unprovoked attack against Iran has been considered widely unpopular; however, the change of scenery alone has Minnesota stress farts down 90%. Something Kristi Noem couldn’t fix, even with the perfect Pepto Bismol costume. Apparently, invading sovereign land, “America First,” was even a more detrimental decision to this nation than Stephen Miller’s parents believing […]

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Does Trump Believe A 9/11-Like Terror Attack Will Make America Great Again?!?

So now that Operation Epstein Fury is underway, and Donald Trump has killed Iran’s Ayatollah Khamenei. Something 86 years, his terminal cancer, and a wayward bowel movement could’ve easily done, but with far less collateral damage and clips of Pete Hegseth getting in his warsplaining reps. And in doing so, not only handed the Ayatollah […]

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ICE Throws Noem Under The Zamboni!!!

So it appears Kristi Noem is getting thrown under the Zamboni by ICE for fabricating details of another rogue shooting, which could easily be karmic retribution for Renee Good, Alex Pretti, or even Crickett. The puppy she personally shot and killed, after claiming the “dangerous” dog was a domestic abuser who often called her cosplay […]

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Trump: ‘Thank You, Un-Redaction, Without You, I Would’ve Never Gone Platinum!!!’

Last summer, when I wrote, “Trump prays he’s in the Epstein files less than Jesus is in the Bible.” I presumed I was crafting a joke, not foreshadowing a brainless fear-monger’s path like the Wizard of Oz Pearlman. However, since then, the name Donald Trump has appeared in the unredacted Epstein Files over a million […]

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