Meet Scrooge McDuck’s Less Successful Cousin: President Donald J. Lame Duck…

I assume when Trump voters first heard “Golden Age of America,” they thought prosperity, not turning the People’s House into a golden shower dojo for Liberace fans… https://www.thedailybeast.com/jaw-dropping-details-of-trumps-midterm-outbursts-revealed I mean, sure, some of Donald Trump’s decor choices have been “unifying.” Or, as the kids call wanting a Nobel Peace Prize every time the Supreme Court […]

Sir MAGA-Lot: ‘I Like Big Butts And I Cannot Lie…’

Donald Trump claimed that Amy Acton’s mother ‘looks like a smart woman’ for choosing to stand by her pedophile husband. Or, as Melania Trump calls it: ‘Aren’t zose my vedding vows?’ Then again, Trump’s own mother called him ‘wonderful’ after mistaking him for the man in the mirror. So if anyone knows what ‘dumb’ looks […]

Musk Avenges Bot Deaths…

Ukraine unleashed a drone attack on Russian data centers that wiped out millions of internet bots and the Truth Social comment section… And instead of praising democracy’s war on disinformation, Donald Trump rebranded the extermination of his faux-fascist fans as ‘The Trump Holocaust,’ while feeling catfished by his imaginary friends, made Emo Musk take his […]

Pete Hegseth Wants His ‘No Fatties, Just Warriors’ Ethos … And To Eat ‘It’ Too!

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth is now strictly enforcing a “No Beardos” policy in the U.S. military. Not since Frank Beard—the ironically clean-shaven drummer of ZZ Top—has someone been so publicly terrified of his OWN 5 o’clock shadow. Hegseth even summarized his new, streamlined vision for the armed forces with a zero-chills checklist: “No Fatties, No […]

Trump’s $1.7+ Billion Dollar Dog Whistle…

It appears Trump isn’t building a ballroom; he’s constructing a billion-dollar panic room he can throw his election-stealing co-conspirators a party in. Meanwhile, this January 6th slush fund isn’t a thank-you for a failed coup attempt; that’s what 1,600-plus get-out-of-jail-free pardons were for. No, this 1.7+ billion dollars of taxpayer money is a down-payment-dog whistle […]

Don’t Worry The Explosions At Two Middle-East Nuclear Facilities Will Be Blamed On Rat Droppings…

Why, when: “Keep it moving, nothing to see here, folks.” is how the blamestream media reacts to a mushroom cloud in the Middle East, do my Spidey-senses scream: “WHAT DID DONNY DO NOW?” Perhaps, it’s because Fox News spent an entire week trying to will a pandemic out of manufactured fear and highly-rated Rat droppings, […]

Meet Chud The Builder, The Racist Who Shot Himself Like Cheddar Bob….

There is a running joke among my friends and family that I have a superpower. However, unlike Superman or Sidney Sweeney, I have yet to harness my God-given gifts for the greater good. You see, like most people, I dream and have random thoughts. But it’s the ability to somehow manifest those into reality that […]

Keystone K$SH: When Even Drinking ON The Job, Is ON-Brand!!!

When I originally started calling Kash Patel “Keystone K$SH,” I was referring to his inability to do his job like a Keystone Cop, not his inability to remain alcohol-free like a Keystone Light. However, while most people consider “Drinking on the job” a liability, Kash sees things much differently… And not at all because his […]

Exposing America’s First Lady Of The Night!!!

In the words of the great 20th century philosopher Dr. Dre, “And when it all boils down, you gonna find in the end. A bitch is a bitch, but a Dogg is a man’s best friend. So what? You found you a ho that you like? But you can’t make a ho a housewife.” Or […]

Tantrum On ICE

Normally, when a white woman gets racially profiled, she is accidentally handed a pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks. However, not for Tan Mom. She was apprehended by ICE Agents because her complexion resembles the dark side of the moon, in both shade and texture. That was until Trump’s Gestapo realized she was just a MAGA-Karen […]

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