So It Turns Out Sir MAGA-Lot Likes Big Butts, And He Cannot NOT Lie…

Donald Trump canceled his remaining rallies this week. He’s reportedly furious that no one understood the brilliant correlation between having a firm grasp on inflation and playing grab-ass with a middle-aged rapper’s faux dumper. https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-makes-major-campaign-change-after-humiliating-protests It’s a shame too, because if anyone needs a lesson in sudden deflation, it’s a Trump supporter. After all, Truth […]

Trump Saves The World From AI… So He Can One Day Take The Credit For SI’s Kill!!!

Google AI once called me a “mix between Hunter S. Thompson and George Carlin,” so I was already skeptical of its intentions before it suggested Suicide-Sunday Funday. I mean, anyone who tells you exactly what you want to hear on the internet is either trying to kill you, fuck you, or have you send a […]

Trump on Blanche’s ‘Job’ Performance: “Fore!!!”

Congratulations, Todd Blanche. When Kermit kissed a pig’s ass and let his elbow-deep boss speak for him, he immediately turned green. But not you, you big dummy! Despite what that greasy orange ring around the mouth suggests, when you get an opportunity to further your career…you don’t BLOW IT. In fact, as acting Attorney General, […]

Finally, Justice For Cricket!!!

Sure, Trump’s unprovoked attack against Iran has been considered widely unpopular; however, the change of scenery alone has Minnesota stress farts down 90%. Something Kristi Noem couldn’t fix, even with the perfect Pepto Bismol costume. Apparently, invading sovereign land, “America First,” was even a more detrimental decision to this nation than Stephen Miller’s parents believing […]

Brown-Nose Bondi Reveals Her True Colors Also Stink Like Sh*t!!!

Pam Bondi testified under oath in front of Congress yesterday so she could address the Epstein survivors in person, in the hopes that if she physically turned her back on them, they might finally get the hint. Seriously, leave it to the Trump administration to cover up child sex-trafficking, only to treat the Victims, not […]

Gabbard Blames Shadow For Groundhog Day Whistleblower Cover-Up!!!

So, yesterday was Groundhog Day, the only day of the year when the biggest shadow in weather forecasting isn’t Al Roker’s. That honor goes to Punxsutawney Phil. The groundhog ICE chased back into a hole after mistaking its shadow for a minority, which not only means 6 more weeks of winter, but that FBI’s Most […]

The Weaponization Of The Epstein Files!!!

The DOJ was obligated by law to release the Epstein files, in their entirety, on December 19th of last year. However, Pam Bondi has intentionally disrespected the law and the sexual abuse survivors left victimized in the wake of a Barbaric Billionaire Boys Club. While, demonstrating an overdue lack of urgency that would shock and […]

Guess Who Earned $1.4+ Billion This Year?!?

The New York Times is reporting that Donald Trump has pocketed more than $ 1.4 billion since moving back into a Melania-less White House. No doubt the single-largest underestimation of Trump’s net since President Fatty McGee took full-Earth credit for his 224lb moon weight. I mean, Trump is built ike an Iceburg, so we can […]

The Art Of The Concept!!!

Congratulations, Shitler, it took only 75 years, and the remaining respect of America’s allies for you to understand the concepts of a Greenland deal that President Truman finalized when you were 4 years old, and only circling the rock bottom of an inappropriate breastfeeding addiction. The CNN Article Quoted – https://www.cnn.com/2026/01/22/politics/us-greenland-framework-1951-deal Trump’s Greenland Deal According […]

Murder She Wrote!!!

Trump won’t admit to it publicly, but he is furious that ICE killed an innocent white woman named Renee Nicole Good. Shooting a Mexican named Evil in the face, now that’s exactly the kind of material he can totally meander into a 49-minute rally punchline. I mean, the man just openly said, in the 3rd […]

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